I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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