As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
