The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
