HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
