dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
