ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
