god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
