Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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