I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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