its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
