someone get that fucking seahorse.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
