I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
