Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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