I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
