are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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