He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize