i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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