i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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