I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
