I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
