i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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