So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
