im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
