So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
