i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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