Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
