Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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