I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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