Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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