I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I checked into jail on foursquare
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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