All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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