It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
