hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
