i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
