So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
