this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
