Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
