Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
