cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
