I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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