those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
