My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
