it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
