They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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