I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
