it's too hot outside to masturbate.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my poor anus
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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