She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
