God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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