Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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