i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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