Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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