I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
